Last night my wife asked me how my blog was going and I mentioned the sudden insight description. That led to us talking about how the aftermath of my concussion affected both of us and the changes that it made to my memory recall. She was wondering if all the detailed memories came back at once or in a certain sequence.
Neither. At first they’d pop up in no particular order when triggered by something external, like a sound or smell, image, conversation or even words. The memories weren’t always pleasant or enjoyable and I didn’t go looking for them. Sometimes they were so intense and overwhelming that I was left exhausted, trying to focus on something else that would help me escape them.
It was like discovering a ripe fruit on a tree and plucking it off the branch to eat right then and there. It was my memory tree.
Facebook came in handy. It was so unpredictable and eclectic. It often could be something I saw on FB that would trigger a deep memory recall. Then I could usually write the memory out of my system and let it dissipate into the background.
A friend once told me that a memory tends to fade a little every time you verbalize it to someone else. We were discussing spiritual and extra-sensory experiences that could be recalled in vivid detail. I’d noticed that the details of my experience with dolphins was slowly being eroded as I recounted it to others. I’d originally shared my experiences with diver, explorer and author Wade Doak, the man who introduced me to the magic of dolphins through his cetacean communication research called “Project Interlock.” Wade was one of New Zealand’s pioneer divers and had written several books about his adventures. A number of his books are now in Kindle editions available worldwide on platforms like AMAZON. Sadly Wade died suddenly a few years ago leaving an amazing legacy of published work and research produced with his long time workmate, co-explorer, photographer, skipper and wife, Jan.
This might illustrate what I mean about sharing memories and how they fade with each telling and push vivid experiences into the background. The one described in the book under the heading “Bob encounters his first alien” is one I used to be able to call up and feel, see and experience everything it described. Now it’s just a memory that is one dimensional. To me it serves as a reminder to be very selective with how much I share. I ended up wasting quite a bit sharing it with John Lilly before and during a visit back to Malibu. I wish I hadn’t wasted something so precious.
The book is DOLPHIN DOLPHIN and published by Hodder and Stoughton in 1981. It’s no longer in print (and the big, hardback edition comes with stunning photographs) and I will reproduce selected excerpts here with the permission Wade gave me years ago.
The Memory Tree © Robert R. Feigel 2022 – All Rights Reserved
Pieces from a Puzzling Life 